How to Have an Absolutely Awful Time in Avery Island, Louisiana

If you want to enjoy a trip to Avery Island, there are many ways to do that.

It is a lovely place with friendly gracious people. But, this isn’t an article about enjoying it. This is a post about how not to enjoy it…

1. Ignore the small signs at restaurants that warn you to stay in your car as much as possible to avoid mosquitos.

2. Pay no attention to the conversations between the locals about the record setting size of the mosquitos.

3. When you purchase tickets to drive around the Jungle Gardens attraction, completely disregard the large poster explaining that you should stay in your car and that there will be no refunds due to mosquito attacks.

4. Do not buy any mosquito repellent.

5. Do not wear jeans, pants or long sleeve shirts.

6. Do not keep your windows closed.

If you want to have an absolutely awful time in Avery Island, get out of the car and walk to the edge of the pond. Slowly.

However, if you aren’t there during prime mosquito season or if it’s an off year for mosquitos, I really don’t think there’s a way to avoid having a good time there. Jungle Gardens is beautiful, the history of the place is amazing, and the tour of the Tobasco plant is great. Plus, the food is off the charts great pretty much any place you go and the people are friendly.

But, if you insist on having a terrible time, follow the six steps above. Your trip will end with you beating mosquitos off of each other and stopping at the nearest place to buy up their stock of anti-itch cream and Caladryl.

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About melindamcguirewrites

The young man or woman writing today has forgotten the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about, worth the agony and the sweat. ------ William Faulkner, Nobel Prize Speech, Stockholm, 1950
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