Tabasco Sauce and the Amazing, Astounding Zelda
My aunt and uncle had a beautiful, large Weimaraner named Zelda. Zelda had the run of the fenced in backyard.
Zelda had an amazing, adventurous life. Some days, Zelda was a horse, and my cousins would feed Zelda “hay” – grass from the yard. Other days, Zelda was a show pony, and would have to walk around and around the yard with a colorful piece of ribbon as the reins. Some days, Zelda was a ferocious lion that inspired terror in us as we ran back and forth across the yard, jumping from lawn chair to lawn chair to stay away from the “lion,” screaming at the top of our lungs. I’m quite sure the neighbors loved us immensely.
But, every day, no matter what adventure lay before her, Zelda wanted to eat the bark off of my uncle’s trees.
My uncle loved his trees very much. My uncle decided that a coat of Tabasco sauce on the tree trunks was just the solution that would deter Zelda.
Only, it turns out, Zelda loved the Tabasco tree trunks even more. She couldn’t get enough of it. She would follow him to each tree and eat the bark as fast as he could pour the Tabasco sauce on it.
So, my uncle stopped using the sauce, and Zelda, having had a taste of the spicy life, stopped eating the plain tree trunks.
She continued to be the best horse, show pony, and lion that I ever had the pleasure of knowing, and my uncle was a lot happier that his trees were no longer naked.